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Something God has been really teaching me these past several weeks is to wait on Him. To consider Him faithful and trust His promises and character. It seems like every time I pick up my Bible, I end up with one or all of those as my applications. Recently, I studied Lamentations 3:22-33, and… wow. I cannot describe how encouraging it has been to think on this passage.

So. If you’re feeling lost, afflicted, depressed, alone, without hope… this whole chapter is for you.

Study the first part. See the darkness and the despair and the aching pain of being beneath God’s affliction and wrath. God is not just a fluffy, loving Santa Claus. He's the one doing all of this: enveloping Israel with bitterness and tribulation, and making them dwell in darkness. He made them desolate, filled them with bitterness, made them cower in ashes. He broke their bones and turned His own hand against them over and over again.

They have forgotten what happiness is. Their hope in the LORD has perished.

But.

Here, in the exact center of the book, the pin upon which everything rotates, we find the greatest reminders of God’s character.

God’s wrath is no light thing. This book comes on the heels of Jeremiah, which contains the prophecies of all this terrible stuff God is going to bring upon His disobedient people. Well, He brought it. And this darkness and despair is the reaction.

But His steadfast love never ceases. His faithfulness is great.

And that’s not all.

The LORD is good to those who wait for Him. Isaiah 40:30-31. The word “wait” implies an expectation, a looking for - like little Amy Pond, sitting on her suitcase in her yard, fully expecting the man in the blue box to come back for her. Expect the Lord, my friend. Look for His coming.

And then we get this less-hopeful-and-encouraging section in Lamentations 3:28-30. This is not waiting for the LORD by singing praises in church and skipping merrily along a primrose path. This burden, this yoke of waiting, is heavy. It is borne alone, in silence - much like Job. This is the picture of defeat. Sitting alone in silence, putting your mouth in the dust, giving your cheek to the one who strikes, being filled with insults.

But.

You can fight tooth and claw all you want against these hard things in your life. You can drag yourself back to your feet and ball your fists and fire insults back like there’s no tomorrow. It won’t help.

Or, you can accept the yoke. Sit in silence. Turn your cheek to the one who will strike you. Let insults in without handing them back out.

Wait for the LORD. He will not always chide, nor will He keep His anger forever.

Simply put, this will end.

Another promise for you to cling to.

This is too often overlooked by those who seek to encourage. But yes, God causes grief. God afflicts. God strikes the blow. God kills and hurts and destroys - but He does so justly, and not all the time. When the punishment has been dealt, God will have compassion according to His steadfast love. The abundance of His love.

Children of the Lord, you are loved. If these trials are your discipline (which they may or may not be, that’s not for me to tell you), they will end. Jeremiah 31:17-20 is a prime example of this. And remember Job’s words in Job 13:15 - “Though He slay me, yet I will hope in Him.” (And yes, I am aware of the second half of that verse - I think that’s where he went wrong, lol XD)

But why does God have compassion?

Reader, affliction is not the point. The pain is not His desire or end goal. It is not who He is or the will of His inner being. This affliction, this pain, this despair and loneliness and fear and hurt and confusion and destruction… this is for your good.

So.

Stop trying to save yourself. Stop trying to get back up on your feet and fight all your own battles. That is not your job.

Your job is to seek the LORD. Find out who He is and cling to that with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. Stop looking at the waves and focus on the Master regardless of what the sea is doing. He loves you. Wait for the LORD, Reader. He is faithful. He will not cast off forever. There may yet be hope.

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“'The LORD is my portion,' says my soul, 'therefore I will hope in Him.'”

-Lamentations 3:24 (ESV)

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A song about waiting.

I told my older sister the other day that I'm trying to keep up the camp pace. Basically, my life is crazy, and I'm doing all I can to keep it that way while the energy I have from summertime lasts. Then I can hibernate all winter! Yay! XP

Nah, I'm only half serious about that. The busy is happening all by itself. Currently I'm holding down three part-time "jobs" - barista, professional pickle maker (record is 279 in one shift so far this year), and housesitting around the valley. School is also happening! I start Year 2 of the Author Conservatory on Monday. Crazy how much time flies! These days it feels like all I do is school and work - and taking lots of long walks. The weather has been beautiful here, so I've been taking full advantage of that and walking 3+ miles a night.

The gardens are suffering, unfortunately. I was recently told (by the same older sister, haha) that I'm a lizard, not a human - and while I think this 100 degree weather is gorgeous and am loving it, the plants... not so much.

By the time you get this, I should be enjoying some time with some friends from out of state who are coming through. They're bringing something that is relevant to y'all and that I will be sharing pictures of, but for now, I'll just leave you in suspense. ^_^

In other news, two of my sisters are moving out of state in the next week. My parents will be going up to help them settle in, leaving yours truly in charge of... everything. Which will be an adventure. Wish us luck, lol.

There were a massive amount of out of context quotes this month, so I cherry-picked my favorites ^_^

Ella Minnow Pea Mark Dunn This one fascinated me. It's told through a series of letters between cousins and family, who live on the fictional island of Nollop. Everyone on Nollop reveres the phrase "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog," so much so that they have a monument with that phrase on it. Throughout the story, the letters of the phrase start falling off - and the author stops using those letters in his book. While a very interesting concept, I was not thrilled with the dark, rushed ending. Star rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars Check it out!

Passport

I stifled a yawn. No human should be awake at 5:30 in the morning. Especially not awake just so they could stand in a million-year line waiting to get through security so they could go home.

Home.

I took a breath, my mind drifting to the soft lighting of the garden behind my house. Six months away felt every bit as wrong as being up before the sun. I missed nursing my sprouts to life and watching my flowers bloom. I missed smelling the dirt after a fresh shower or sketching on the bench nestled in my patch of sunflowers. I even missed getting stung by the odd bee I noticed a bit too late.

The line shuffled forward. I shuffled with it, my suitcase wheels clicking over a seam in the floor.

Maybe Mom would bring me some bread or something when she picked me up. I hadn’t tasted her homemade bread in way too long.

English flashed beneath the signs above me as the lady at the counter barked at me to move forward. Airport people. I schooled my features into a polite mask as I walked up to her. Why are they always so grouchy?

“ID, and take picture please,” she snapped in broken English. I slid my passport to her and stifled another yawn. The lady scanned my ID, frowned at her screen, and scanned it again.

C’mon, lady, I thought. I’m ready to go.

She glanced behind her and rattled something off in Japanese to a burly guy behind her. He shot me a look and responded, but I only caught a handful of useless words.

“Here you go,” the lady said, handing me my ID and shooing me to the security. I peeked the burly guy’s way as I passed by him, but he fixed his gaze on another person. Whatever the lady had said to him must not have fazed him too much.

Two hours later, our plane finally taxied down the runway. I leaned back against the seat and closed my eyes. Ten hours from now I’d be off this airplane and see my mom and little brother waiting for me. Hopefully Mom would save some treats for me from Mason’s vicious appetite.

But things rarely go according to plan for me. Seems to be my luck. Because the minute I got off the airplane and stepped into the airport, legs wobbly from disuse and a headache throbbing behind my temples, everything went wrong.

“Matthew Braxton?”

I blinked at the pair of stern police officers who had stepped in my path. “Yeah?”

The bigger police officer rested his hand on the holster of his pistol. Every shred of sleep vanished. “Set your suitcase down. Get on your knees with your hands on your head.”

What did I do now? I did as I was told, lacing my fingers together on top of my bedhead. My suitcase fell over beside me. “What’s going on?”

“You’re under arrest.” The officer patted me down for weapons as the other grabbed my suitcase.

“What?! What for?” I hadn’t done anything wrong - unless flying back from Japan was a crime.

Instead of replying right away, the officer searching me stepped back and yanked me to my feet, wrenching my arms behind me and snapping a pair of handcuffs over my wrists.

He paused, meeting my eyes, and something flickered beneath the layers of stone in his green ones. He swallowed and looked away, any feeling buried.

“The murder of Mason Braxton,” the other cop replied, shrugging past us with my carryon slung over his shoulder, shooing people away and keeping an eye on us.

Blood roared into my ears. My fingertips tingled and every sense sharpened as my brain froze on those four words.

Murder of Mason Braxton.

“But…” I stumbled when my cop put a hand on my shoulder and pushed me forward. “Mason? I didn’t - he’s not - Mason? He’s my brother!”

The officer just nodded, his mouth a firm, hard line.

My gut curled in on itself.

Mason… was dead?

And they thought I killed him?

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(P.S. Psst! If you head over to my site​ and find the Subscribers Only page, here’s your password to get inside (copy and paste the bold parts and the asterisks) *IamAUTHORized* ;) Hop on in there and enjoy!)